Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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