We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize