we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
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