My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
