i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
