we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You dont lie about slip and slides
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
