I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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