break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
