i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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