my mouth tastes like poor choices
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
