im having a threesome with these popsicles
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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