guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Shame - the story of my life.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
