I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
