Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
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love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
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Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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