I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
