Reggie can tackle my bush.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
