Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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