did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.