He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.