one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
