four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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