wakey wakey hands off snakey
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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