Have you finally orgasmed yet?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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