8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
