Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
