I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
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Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
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Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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