no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize