508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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