Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Sorry about my life...
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
