We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You're a waste of cheezeits
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
