WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
