She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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