Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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