I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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