You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
