Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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