If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize