You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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