i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You can't special order awesome
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
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The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
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I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
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