he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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