I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
