What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
