I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Randomize
