Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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