Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
