Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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