This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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