The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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