ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
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He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
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Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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