I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
