So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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