hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
