mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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