he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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