So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
We got so high we made milksteak
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
