what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
