If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
