my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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