you would pick up someone in the library
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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