she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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